Before your wedding review this TOP 25 checklist of signs or Red Flags that we hope will be helpful to pay attention to when considering your date or prospective partner.    

Mark Ogletree, MFT, PhD. & Victor W. Harris, MS

When visiting with couples, we often ask a husband or wife if any of the bizarre behaviors and practices their spouse is currently demonstrating was manifested during their dating and courtship. Surprisingly, many men and women say, “Yes, I noticed that, but I thought once we were married it would go away.” Others will say, “I tried not to notice it.” It is wise not to ignore the clues and hints that we term Signs or Red Flags in a relationship. If your date or fiancé tells you to only call them at night between the hours of 11:30 and 11:45 p.m., and requests that you do not ask for them by name, but just to give the code “A6758,” you might want to reconsider this relationship. If they have nuclear weapons in a storage facility or a bionic limb, you might want to be very careful and pay close attention!

Someone has said that before we get married we should keep our eyes WIDE OPEN and that after marriage; we should keep our eyes HALF SHUT. Seriously, below is our TOP 25 checklist of signs or Red Flags that we hope will be helpful to pay attention to when considering your date or prospective partner.

Does your partner -

1. Have extreme views on political, family, religious, or world affairs?
2. Encourage you to develop your talents and progress, or do they want to keep you hidden in a closet,
away from the rest of the world?
3. Allow you time for yourself, or is your partner possessive?
4. Encourage you to have your own interests, your own life too?
5. Allow you to spend time with your friends, or is your partner jealous of your friends and the time you
spend with them?
6. Compare you to past boyfriends or girlfriends?
7. Take an interest in other people, or is your partner selfish with his/her time and pursuits?
8. Exhibit behaviors that suggest that the world revolves around him/her?
9. Exhibit behaviors that suggest personality faults such as deep insecurity, excessive jealousy,
uncontrollable temper, and inflexibility?
10. Exhibit character flaws such as being condescending, or lying, cheating, stealing, arrogance, etc.
11. Fail to admit mistakes and can never admit to being “wrong?” (Note: If your partner fails to see
mistakes now, he/she won’t be able to see them or admit to them later on in the relationship either.
Look for humility and meekness, but personal confidence, as well)
12. Often exhibit negative or critical traits?
13. Complain about your family or spending time with your family?
14. Seek to build relationships with your family or does your partner lack the skills to do so?
15. Have difficulty relating to his/her own family? (Note: This is a huge Red Flag that your partner will
have difficulty in his/her own family relationships later on)
16. Enjoy work or is your partner prone to laziness and irresponsibility?
17. Have the television on all the time at his/her apartment or home?
18. Criticize your personal appearance?
19. Tell you that you need to lift weights, go jogging, or join a health club?
20. Make fun of your weight or other bodily traits?
21. Verbally, physically, or emotionally abuse you?
22. Tear you down and then try to come back a few days later as “Mr. Nice Guy,” promising that it will
never happen again?
23. Need to make major social or emotional changes in his/her life?
24. Promise that he/she will change after the wedding?
25. Have some of the same goals, dreams, and aspirations as you do?

Adapted from D.E. Brinley & M.D. Ogletree, First Comes Love
[Covenant Communications: American Fork, UT, 2001], pp. 75-77.
http://strongermarriage.org/htm/dating/top-25&page=1

Married men usually are healthier than men who are single either by choice or by chance. Researchers who measure both mental and physical health report that married women rank second; they are followed by single women and then single men, said Bill Doherty, professor of family social science, University of Minnesota.

The health-and-happiness benefits attributed to marriage shouldn’t come as a surprise-marriage confers benefits that go beyond what partners bring into the marriage. It’s not just that healthier or more responsible people marry and, therefore, married people are healthier and more responsible. It’s that being married changes people for the better. For example, couples can benefit from strong social support. Knowing that there will be someone in your corner who will be interested in the details of your life can lessen stress levels substantially. Couples also can benefit from bouncing ideas off each other or talking through issues and concerns. They have a support system, ready and waiting, he said.

In a marriage, each partner has a stake in the relationship and its success. It matters if a partner neglects his or her health, suffers through turmoil at work or struggles with a career change. Encouragement extends beyond the ‘nag factor’-couples are less likely to smoke or drink to excess. They also are more likely to schedule regular check-ups and follow through on exercise or other recommendations that will improve their life or health. They may do so as a team or simply provide each other the reminder what’s needed to see that the follow-through occurs.

Couples enjoy economic benefits, too. The possibility of two incomes can buffer job and other stresses and make a more comfortable lifestyle a reality. Nationally, only 11 percent of married couples fall below the poverty line; 50 percent of single-parent households fall into this category, Doherty said.

Undertaking family life as a couple can contribute to a couple’s sense of well being and benefit the family. Children who are raised in a two-parent home where parenting responsibilities are shared usually fare better in life. The couple and their family also can benefit from a larger social circle. Couples usually have friends as individuals and as partners; each partner will have a family of origin and extended family. Their circle of family and friends is wider, so their opportunities are likely to increase, he said.

Since a successful marriage can foster mental and physical health, researchers believe that it also can contribute to a longer, healthier life.

Nancy B. Peterson, Communications Specialist
K-State Research and Extension
Kansas State University

http://utahmarriage.org/htm/facts/marriage-can-be-good-for-health

Here are some great ideas while planning your wedding and for after your marriage: 

• Never go grocery shopping without a list.
• Avoid buying non-food items such as laundry detergent, shampoo, napkins, and tissues at the grocery store. Usually you can get these items much cheaper at warehouse or discount stores.
• To save money on mileage as well as your time, pick one day a week to do all of your shopping and errands.
• If you have the storage space, stock up on staples when they are on sale.
• See movies in the afternoon when prices are often cheaper.
• Go out to eat for lunch instead of dinner.
• Visit the library and borrow books and videos for free.
• Plan a picnic in a scenic areas for a low cost outing.
• Look for coupons in the paper each week for restaurants and save them in a folder for future use.
• Develop inexpensive hobbies such as bike riding or hiking that allow you to get exercise and fresh air.
• For vacations, go camping instead of staying at hotels.
• If possible, travel off season when the rates are lower.
• Buy airlines tickets in advance and pay for them right away.
• If you delay, the price will usually increase the closer it gets to your trip time.

Article Provided by: 
Deanna E Diaz 
deannadiaz@envisionlending.com
801-564-7456

1. Before you start looking for a home, get pre-qualified for a loan. Banks, credit unions, and mortgage bankers make home loans; mortgage brokers process loans through a variety of lenders. The lenders will take an application, process the loan documents, and see the loan through to the funding stage.  

2. If you have marginal or bad credit, consult your lender. You may be able to qualify for a loan depending on how long ago and what reason(s) caused the bad credit. 

3. You will need a down-payment. Down-payment requirements vary depending on the type of loan. Many down-payment assistance programs exist. These programs may loan or grant you the funds necessary for the down-payment. Consult with a lender about programs available in your area.  

4. You will need funds for closing costs. Closing costs are charges for services related to the closing of your real estate transaction. They include, but are not limited to: Escrow fees, title policy issuance fees, mortgage insurance fees, fire, flood, and homeowners insurance, county recorder fees, & loan origination fees. Consult your lender for an actual estimate of these costs.  

5. Some loans have “points” and some do not. A point is a loan origination fee equivalent to 1% of the loan amount. Together with the interest rate, they constitute the yield on your loan for the lender.  

6. Mortgage rates can be fixed or adjustable. Which one is right for you depends on whether mortgage rates are at a high or a low point when you purchase, and on how long you plan to live in the home. 

7. There are two main types of loan categories.
Conventional Loans. Conventional mortgage loans are available with fixed or adjustable interest rates.
Government Loans. These include FHA fixed and adjustable rate mortgage loans, and VA fixed rate mortgage loans. 

8. If you are a low-to-moderate-income homebuyer, there are special programs designed to help you. These loans are available through private lenders, as well as local and state housing agencies. 

9. You may have to pay mortgage insurance. Mortgage insurance protects the lender from potential loss if you should default on your mortgage loan payment. Mortgage insurance is always required on FHA mortgage loans.  

10. Many organizations offer home loan counseling to prospective homebuyers. They will cover home selection, realtor services, lenders, loan programs, homeownership responsibilities, saving for a down-payment, and other important pieces of information.  

Article Provided by: 
Deanna E Diaz 
deannadiaz@envisionlending.com
801-564-7456

When trying to win over your true love it is essential to plan that “special” date. Whether single, engaged, or married there is always good reason to think ahead at how you can stay center of your true love’s mind. Throughout time, dates have been proven to be the number one way to accomplish this.
 So, what makes for the perfect date? Is it getting flowers or going to that new hotspot in town? Is it sharing a sentimental moment or your favorite song that just happens to play? Yes, these are all great ways to make for a memorable evening however the solution to this mystery is to combine memorable with meaningful.
When planning your dates, remember these key components and you’re sure to experience the “perfect date”:

First-time home buyers
Whether you have spent years saving and preparing to buy a home, or you still aren’t sure if it is something you can even dream of, the questions surrounding a first-time home purchase can feel endless.
Here are some tips to help you with the process of becoming your own landlord.

Pre-qualify for a loan
Being pre-qualified for a loan determines how much house you can afford. It also allows you to move more swiftly when you find the right house, especially when you aren’t the only interested buyer.

Shop for mortgage rates and terms
A difference of even half a percentage point can make a huge difference in how much you pay over the life of a loan. For example, the difference in the monthly payment on a
$100,000 mortgage at 8 percent vs. 7.5 percent is about $35 per month. Over 30 years,
that’s $12,600.

Using a buyer agent
A buyer agent is legally responsible for representing the buyer’s interest in a real estate transaction. Generally, the buyer agent is compensated by the seller at the time you purchase a new home. There are some limitations to using a buyer agent, however. Before you decide, have a Realtor explain the advantages and disadvantages of using a buyer agent. (more…)

This article was furnished by Gina Gonzalez.
If you have additional questions, she can be reached at: