At your wedding or any other time, your great smile and perfect physique may not be enough to compensate for your fumbling through a 12- to 20-piece formal place setting. Instead of sentencing yourself to a fake-it-till-you-make-it evening, brush up on your grace with our brief etiquette spread. Or learn how to set the table for a proper wedding lunch or dinner.

Warning:
Because the primary purpose of etiquette is to make people feel comfortable in social situations by establishing accepted standards, the most egregious thing a person can do is use it pretentiously, especially by openly correcting anyone. Etiquette — “a code of behavior based on thoughtfulness,” according to The Emily Post Institute — isn’t to be wielded like a weapon of arrogance or superiority.

Decorative plate
The charger plate serves as an under plate for one or more courses before the main entree is served, at which point the plate will likely be removed.

Tear it
Your bread plate is always to your upper left, above your forks. Do not slice and butter your entire roll or biscuit at once. Rather, you should eat it by tearing off bite-sized pieces with your hands; butter each piece individually as you eat.

Keep it straight
At crowded tables where settings are tightly placed, it’s often confusing which glasses and side plates are designated to each guest. Just remember, solids go to your left (butter, salad plate, etc.) and liquids to your right.

Don’t soil the cloth
Used utensils should never be set directly onto the table. If you are finished, or resting your fork or spoon momentarily during conversation, set your fork or spoon on its given dish or horizontally on the top of the charger plate. If a neighbor accidentally takes your plate, don’t use your other neighbor’s; instead, discreetly ask the server for another plate.

Prong preparation
Forks are placed in the order their course is served. Work from outside inward. If there are three forks: salad (left), fish/appetizer (center), main entree (right).

Contrary to the more practical continental style, there is an American insistence that no food morsel — not even a stubborn pea! — should be aided onto the fork. In Europe, on the other hand, it is permitted to use a knife or bread to assist the food onto your fork.

Knives & cutting
Never cut more than one or two bites at a time. Emily Post coined the American “Zig-zag” cutting technique still in use today, a style that says the diner should hold the fork, tines down, in her left hand and the knife in her right. After cutting one or two morsels she should place the knife down (not on the table), and transfer the fork to the right hand where the food is lifted to the mouth. The left hand rests in the lap. Always cut by drawing the knife toward you, never cut in a back-and-forth sawing motion. Knives are always placed with cutting edge toward the plate. A butter knife (not shown here) is placed diagonally across the butter plate, handle to the right.

Glassware
These crystal babies can number anywhere from two to five depending on the place setting; most of those glasses are customarily designated for alcohol. Don’t turn your glass over to refuse an alcoholic drink; instead, politely refuse verbally. Your water goblet is placed directly above your dinner knife. You may sip water after everyone is seated, but wait to drink anything else until everyone has been served or your host invites you to do otherwise.

The scoop on spoons
Spoons are placed to the right of the knives. Scoop away from yourself with soup, toward you with everything else. And slurp quietly — don’t sip — from the side of the spoon, not its end, when eating soup. It’s OK, even flattering to the hostess, to tilt the bowl away from you to scoop the last dribble of soup.

Napkins
Napkins are placed on the charger plate or to the left of the forks. It belongs on your lap, not tucked in your shirt like a bib. It is to be laid on your lap, folded in half, with the fold toward you. Dab your mouth often. If you’re done eating or must excuse yourself from the table momentarily, fold the napkin next to your plate or hang it over the back of your chair. Never leave it on your seat.

Dessert
The dessert fork and spoon are placed above the charger plate: the bowl of the spoon to the left, and fork’s tines to the right. At more formal occasions, they are brought in separately with the dessert.

In general:
•Pass dishes to your right, counterclockwise.
•The salt and pepper are always passed together.

Sources: “Emily Post’s Etiquette, 17th Edition,” by Peggy Post; “From Hand to Mouth, Or, How We Invented Knives, Forks, Spoons and Chopsticks, and the Manners to Go with Them,” by James Cross Giblin; “The History of Manners” by Norbert Elias.

See our complete designed page by downloading the PDF version HERE.

By Jacob Hancock
Mormon Times - Apr. 15, 2010
E-mail: jhancock@desnews.com
Copyright © 2009 Deseret News Publishing Company
http://www.mormontimes.com/mormon_living/tips_living/?id=14371

45 percent of women are interested in buying their fiancees engagement bands. What do you think??

Wedding Engagement Rings for the Groom? - If you like him, put a ring on him!

Say “engagement ring” and you probably picture a little velvet box that the harried groom-to-be, or groom-to-be-rejected, is fumbling around with in his pocket. At that right moment, he will stop, drop and propose.

The often diamond-crusted band will be given to the future bride, representing a quasi-contractual commitment to stand on high heels in a receiving line at a bedazzled stake center gym for four hours.

In return, sometimes she receives another ring, perhaps to be soldered together.

But what about the groom? It’s becoming increasingly popular for ladies to want their beaus to visibly take themselves off the market as well via a new trend that bears the charming portmanteau “man-gagemet rings.”

According to a survey on brides.com, 45 percent of women are interested in buying their fiancees engagement bands.

Some suspect this is an offshoot of our modern era in which it’s increasingly common for the girl to take matters into her own hands and pop the question; others think it’s merely a marketing ploy.

Jewelers could certainly make a pretty penny off the trend — though few brothers are going to be strutting around, showing off the brand new bling during Elders Quorum.

Most are simple, diamond-less band designs, manly engravings a la the One Ring.

A mass-market jewelry chain in the United Kingdom is even trying to draw new etiquette lines, asserting the man-gagement ring is to be worn on the ring finger of the left hand until the wedding, after which it is transferred to the same finger on the right hand, with the wedding band, of course, worn on the left.

This seems excessive, but it signifies the fascinating dichotomy between men and women, and wedding rings in general. While most women wear their rings without fail, post-nuptials, many men opt to go band-less after marriage.

An aversion from jewelry to history: Wedding rings for men didn’t come into popularity until after World War II.

Although today it’s customary in both religious and secular wedding ceremonies for the couple to exchange rings, the husband will likely leave his on the dresser or watch, horrified, as it bounces down the drain, never to be replaced.

While some may think that’s no big deal, husbands should remember that not wearing a ring, especially if you’re still college-aged, sends out the message, “I’m available.”

Brenton Pendleton, 22, who’s been married to his wife Jackie for just over a year, said that when he wears his ring it helps him “stay on the right path” by keeping her in his thoughts.

When he doesn’t wear his ring, “she asks ‘who are you trying to impress?’” he said. “Of course she’s kidding… but I think it’s still important for couples to wear their rings. It lets people know you’re taken.”

President David O. McKay once said, “That high view of marriage in the mind of that young bridegroom, and the appreciation of the sacredness of marriage by the bride, I think is one of the sublimest things in all the world.”

Take a high view of marriage and realize wearing your wedding ring is symbolic of your eternal commitment. It’s a good thing. Don’t treat it lightly.

Avoid awkward situations where you have to tell an overly friendly girl in class or at work you’re married. Your wife is likely wearing her ring with confidence and contentment — and you should too, be it one ring… or two.

By Emily Schmuhl
http://www.mormontimes.com/mormon_voices/mormon_experience/?id=13513&
Mormon Times
Thursday, Feb. 25, 2010
E-mail: eschmuhl@desnews.com

MormonTimes.com is produced by the Deseret News in Salt Lake City, Utah.
It is not an official publication of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Copyright © 2009 Deseret News Publishing Company

If you’re looking for ideas- here they are. Fifty different ideas in total- all divided into categories that you can pick from.   Seasonal/Holiday Favors 

• Candy canes 
  

• Mini Easter baskets filled with foil-wrapped chocolate eggs 
  

• Little plastic pumpkins filled with candy corn 
  

• Simple Christmas ornaments 
  

• Blow-up beach balls with your names and/or your wedding colors 
  

• Miniature heart-shaped boxes of Valentine’s chocolates 
  

• Miniature watering cans filled with spring blooms 
  

• Chocolate coins in gold foil 
  

• Sparklers 
  

• Easter eggs (that you’ve colored yourselves) 
  

• Miniature pots of clover (four-leaf?) for St. Patty’s Day 
  

Keepsake Favors 

• A copy of a memorable photo you have of you (or both of you) with each guest 
  

• A pretty picture frame  (more…)

Weddings are notorious for their toasts. In fact, many couples are now buying commemorative champagne glasses etched with hearts, their names, or other designs. There are many different ways you can serve drinks at your reception.

First, and most expensive, you can have an open bar. This means that the bar will be available to guests for the whole duration of the reception. Generally, with an open bar, guests will be able to get any drink their hearts desire (and how ever many), so it can become quite an expense. The second idea is to have a limited bar, which is much less expensive. This can be taken in two ways, you can either have a limited amount of time for guests to get drinks, or you can have a limited variety of drinks, or both. The third option is to have a cash bar, which makes the guests pay for any drinks they get. This is not recommended no matter how tight your budget is. The last idea is to not have alcoholic beverages at all. This will really decrease your reception costs and is a great option if you and/or your families do not drink.

For all of you couples who do choose to have alcoholic beverages, you may be confused about how much you actually need to get. Below are amounts for various drinks, based on an amount of 100 guests. If you are going to be serving many different drinks, you’ll want to split these amounts accordingly.

Beer: 2 cases
Whiskey: 1-2 liters
Bourbon: 1-2 liters
Gin: 2 liters
Scotch: 3 liters
Light rum: 2 liters
Vodka: 6 liters
Tequila: 1 liter
Champagne: 1 1/2 cases
Red wine: 8 bottles
White wine: 1 1/2 cases
Dry vermouth: 2 bottles
Sweet vermouth: 2 bottles

You’ll want all of the guests to at least have some kind of drink for the toasts. The most popular choice is champagne with wine close behind. Some couples will choose to have the “bubbly” effect without the alcohol and simply use sparkling cider. If you are having a daytime or casual wedding, you may choose something a little more fun like cranberry juice or lemonade. Just make sure you take into account the style of the wedding as well as your own personal tastes when choosing drinks for your reception.

One of the most expensive parts of a reception is the cost of catering. Luckily, it is one of the best and most memorable parts of a wedding too. Generally, caterers will charge by person, so the more guests you have the more you should plan on spending. There are so many different types of meals you can have - this list will help you find the best one for your style and budget.

Breakfast, Brunch, or Tea- These are usually done for a morning or afternoon reception. Often they are the least expensive choice. These meals are especially good for spring or summer-time weddings, when receptions are typically more casual. All of these can be formal (sit-down), but they are usually served buffet style.  

Lunch- This is a nice median between a brunch and a dinner. Also, it is typically in the middle for price and formality. If you are having an afternoon wedding and wanted it to be a little more formal than a brunch, you’d be better off with a lunch meal. This meal is great all year round and its middle-of-the-road attributes make it great for any style or budget.

Cocktails or Dessert Only- These are typically the simplest meals. Cocktails is mostly just drinks, and desserts only is exactly what it sounds like. These can be less expensive that the other meals, but sometimes the costs of drinks or fancy pastries can really add up. Plus you’ll want to account for everyone wanting to try a little of everything. These options are great for short receptions, or receptions that are late at night (too late for a meal).

Dinner- This meal is by far the most popular of all the meals. Unfortunately, it is also the most expensive, especially if you choose a formal sit-down dinner. Generally, if you are having a dinner, it will be for a semi-formal to formal reception. Even though the dinner meal can be served buffet style, dinner has always been considered the most formal meal. If you are having an evening reception that is going to be casual, try something like cocktails or a variation of a lunch meal.

When choosing a caterer you’ll want to know what they specialize in, and it would be best if you could find someone that works well with whatever meal you choose. Some caterers will not have a very extensive brunch menu, and if that’s what you want, you should try to find a different caterer that can work with your wants and needs. Once you decide on the type of meal you want, you’ll have to choose the specific foods you’d like. It is usually best to choose foods that you love, but you should also consider your guests (ex: vegetarians, other ethnicities, etc.).

If you find a good caterer, they will actually let you sample their food, which may help you decide on what you want served. After you’ve made all your decisions, make sure you book the caterer for your reception and sign a contract with them. Remember to read all the fine print to weed out any excessive costs they might try to push on you. A couple weeks before the wedding you should call them to confirm the reception date, time, and location, as well as the menu you chose. Then call them again a couple days before the wedding for a last minute confirmation.